What if you Decide to Get Back Together? Reconciliation During the Separation and Divorce Process

At any point in the divorce process, you may decide to reconcile with your spouse. No matter how far gone the divorce process seems, you are in control of it and can always resume your relationship if you and your spouse agree to do so. While you can hit pause on the divorce process at any point, there may be some repercussions legally and financially once the process has commenced. Today’s blog post discusses the potential implications of getting back together with your spouse during the separation and divorce process.

Reconciliation or “resumption of marital relations” is the legal terminology used to refer to spouses resuming their marital relationship. Reconciling in the legal sense means that you move back in with your spouse, resume your sexual relationship, share finances and household (and parenting) responsibilities, and resume holding yourself out in society to be married. You should discuss the potential implications of reconciliating with your spouse with your family law attorney.

1. Reconciliation can affect, void, or modify a previously executed Separation Agreement.
Depending upon the terms of your separation agreement, reconciling with your spouse can change, void, or modify your separation agreement contract. Your separation agreement should have a paragraph detailing what will happen to the terms of your separation agreement if you and your spouse get back together. If you are unclear about the effect of reconciliation on your separation agreement terms, reach out to your family law attorney.

2. Reconciliation restarts the clock for the 1-year separation period.
For no-fault divorce in both North and South Carolina, you must be physically separated for one year, living under separate roofs, in order to file for divorce. If you reconcile and restart your marriage with your spouse, but then separate again, you will have to be separated for another full year before you would be eligible to file for divorce.  

3. Reconciliation changes the valuation date of marital assets and debts for equitable distribution or apportionment.
In North Carolina, when you separate, your marital assets and debts are valued from the date of separation for equitable distribution purposes. In South Carolina, your marital assets and debts are valued from the date of the filing of your divorce lawsuit for equitable apportionment purposes. If you reconcile with your spouse, but subsequently separate again, your marital assets and debts will be valued from the new date of separation (in North Carolina). If you reconcile with your spouse and dismiss your divorce lawsuit in South Carolina, then restart the proceedings at a later date, your marital assets and debts will be valued from the new date of filing of the renewed divorce proceeding.
 
4. Reconciliation typically excuses past adultery.
If you and your supporting spouse separated over your spouse’s affair, your supporting spouse committed adultery (and you can prove it) and has the ability to pay alimony, then as a dependent spouse, you will be mandatorily awarded alimony. What happens if you get back together with your spouse after his or her affair? If you reconcile with your spouse, the adultery is typically seen by the court to have been forgiven by you. The legal term for this forgiveness is “condonation.”
​
 5. Reconciliation impacts support orders or agreements.
Parents have a legal obligation to financially support their child’s needs during separation and after divorce. If the parents resume sharing household and financial responsibilities for their child’s needs, then any child support obligation that a parent owes to the other parent will need to be modified. The parents can consent to a modification or dismiss their child support claim. Similarly, if an alimony obligation exists for either spouse, but the spouses resume living together and sharing financial responsibilities, the spouse who owes alimony will want to be sure that the legal obligation is terminated by consent order or formal agreement.  

Considering a resumption of your marriage and want to protect yourself financially and legally? Consider entering into a postnuptial agreement. This is a private, binding contract entered into during a marriage that can address matters related to property and debt distribution and spousal support in the event of a later separation or divorce.

When you are ready to move forward with the divorce process, reach out to our office to schedule a consultation.  

Schedule a Consultation