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Adjusting to life after separation and divorce can be a challenge for all members of a family, but it can be especially difficult for children. Deciding the most appropriate time to introduce your children to a new dating partner after separation and divorce is an individual decision that considers several factors including your own readiness, the children’s readiness, legal ramifications, and your co-parent’s opinion and position. In today’s blog post, we outline a few questions to ask yourself to help determine when to introduce a new dating partner to your children after a separation or divorce.
Does your custody order mention a relationship-length requirement prior to the introduction of a new dating partner to your child? Are you and your new dating partner in a serious, long-term relationship? Many custody orders include provisions that require you to be in a long-term relationship with your new dating partner for a certain length of time (3 to 6 months is most common) before introducing the new dating partner to your child. When considering whether now is the right time to introduce your child to your new dating partner, first refer back to your custody order to determine if you have a relationship-length provision that you would need to follow. Your custody order might also require you to notify your co-parent of your intention to introduce your child to your new dating partner as a courtesy before you actually introduce the child. Have you spoken to your co-parent about your new dating partner? Have you given your co-parent the opportunity to meet and speak with your new dating partner? It may take your co-parent a little while to come around to the idea of you introducing a new dating partner to your child, especially if you are the first parent to start dating after the divorce. Your new relationship will be better received with your kids if you have an open and honest conversation with your co-parent about the new relationship and your co-parent is on board with supporting (or at least not naysaying) your new relationship. Your co-parent may also be more comfortable with your kids meeting your new dating partner if you allow your co-parent to meet your new dating partner before introducing them to your kids. How long have you been separated or divorced? If separated: As family law attorneys, we do not recommend introducing your child to a new dating partner if you are not legally divorced. If you engage in a sexual relationship with someone who is not your spouse prior to your date of divorce, that is considered adultery in both North and South Carolina and could result in legal and financial ramifications. By introducing your child to a new dating partner prior to your legal divorce, you are opening up a legal can of worms that will unnecessarily complicate your situation. If divorced: If the ink on your divorce decree hasn’t even dried yet, you may want to wait a bit to introduce your children to a new dating partner. While you (and your co-parent) may have adjusted to the idea that you will have a new partner, children often take longer to adjust to the idea that their parents will no longer be together. Please reach out to our office if you need legal representation for your separation or divorce. Lindsey and Catherine are both members of the Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Professionals group, a local practice group that provides Collaborative Divorce options to couples in the Charlotte metropolitan area looking to “divorce differently.” The practice group has professional members from several different fields, including attorneys, divorce coaches, financial neutrals, and child specialists, who, along with the couple in a case, make up the collaborative team. Couples wishing to have a collaborative divorce must choose attorneys who are collaboratively trained and enter into a Collaborative Law Participation Agreement. The Collaborative Law Participation Agreement states that you and your spouse agree to work as a team to determine what’s best for your family as a whole, to not pursue litigation, and to engage in negotiations and the collaborative divorce process with candor. The Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Professionals group recently produced some videos to help educate spouses discerning separation and divorce on collaborative divorce. Please take a moment to watch these videos and learn about collaborative divorce and its advantages. Videos: What is Collaborative Divorce? Advantages of Collaborative Divorce Benefits of a Collaborative Divorce Overview of Benefits of Collaborative Divorce Please check out the Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Professionals’ website, or reach out to our office to schedule a consultation to learn more about whether a Collaborative Divorce may be the right choice for you and your spouse. |
AuthorsLindsey Dasher and Catherine Smith are experienced family law attorneys at Dasher Law, PLLC. Archives
May 2024
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