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Should my child be in therapy or counseling during a separation / divorce?
If your child is struggling emotionally at home or in school, their behavior or mood is affecting their schoolwork or friendships, and the behavior or issues are continuing for more than a few days, your child should likely be in therapy or counseling. If your child is experiencing a major change in sleep habits or appetite, this can also be a sign that they are struggling and need to be connected to a counselor. Children who are actively struggling should be connected with a therapist sooner rather than later during the separation and divorce transition. Therapy or counseling provides a positive, safe space for the child to express their feelings around the divorce, the changes and transitions associated with the divorce, and helps the child learn to advocate for himself or herself throughout the divorce and beyond. A therapist or counselor is a trusted adult outside of the family with whom they can discuss their concerns and feelings. Having a “third place” (a therapist’s office) aside from home and school can be incredibly helpful for children adjusting to a new normal post-separation. Counseling allows a child to understand that the divorce is not their fault and can also strengthen a child’s relationship with both of their parents. Even if you’re not entirely sure your child needs a therapist, it cannot hurt to connect them to one. How do I find a therapist or counselor for my child? The best place to start is to ask your pediatrician or your child’s school guidance counselor for referrals to local therapists or counselors who specialize in working with children. If you do not find a child therapist with whom you think your child will connect from those referrals, ask trusted friends and other parents of children the same age if they have any counselor or therapist referrals. If you’d rather search for a therapist on your own without outside input, the Psychology Today website has a great “Find a Therapist” search function where you can narrow your search by geography, issues, gender, types of therapy provided, age, cost, and more. How do I select the right therapist or counselor for my child? What is most important in selecting the right therapist or counselor for a child is that a child’s personality meshes well with the chosen clinician. It is essential that the child wants to continue to see the therapist, so the therapy process is productive and effective for the child. If your child does not hit it off with the chosen therapist in the first few sessions, it is always okay to search for a new therapist that is a better fit for your child. Stay tuned for next week's blog post, which will detail considerations for choosing your child's therapist. If you need child therapist referrals as your child navigates the separation and divorce transition, please feel free to reach out to our office. Our practice regularly intersects with local child therapists and we can refer you to child therapists that can meet your child's needs. Are you forfeiting any property rights if you leave the marital home?
By leaving the marital home, you are not giving up your right to claim an interest in the home, or the personal property within the home. You do not need to be concerned that by leaving the marital home, you are abandoning your property or forfeiting your interest in that property. It should be noted that once you have left the marital home, you will not have any control over what occurs inside the home, including the maintenance and care of the home, furniture, or your personal belongings. We typically advise clients to take all irreplaceable items with them when they separate, including passport, social security card, birth certificate, family heirlooms, jewelry, and photos, etc. While you do not lose your right to these personal items, your spouse may or may not make it difficult to get them back once you’ve left. Once you have voluntarily left the marital home, your spouse remaining in the home will have an expectation of privacy, meaning you will not be able to come and go in the marital home as you please. After you voluntarily leave the marital home in North Carolina, it is illegal to enter back into the home without your spouse’s permission. Entering the home without permission is called “domestic criminal trespass,” and is a Class 1 misdemeanor in North Carolina (see N.C.G.S. § 14-134.3). You will still have a legal right to the home, but it will be your spouse’s temporary residence, and you cannot enter at will. Should I change the locks to force my spouse out of the marital home? In South Carolina, if you do not have a court order directing your spouse to vacate the home and your spouse is not leaving voluntarily, your spouse can enter back into the home even if you change the locks. In North Carolina, it is illegal to lock a spouse out of the marital home. The spouse still has a right to be in the marital home if they do not choose to leave voluntarily. When can I change the locks on the marital home? In North Carolina, you can change the locks on the marital home if your spouse voluntarily leaves the marital residence without the intention of returning, or if a court issues a Domestic Violence Protective Order granting you sole access to the marital home. In South Carolina, you can change the locks on the marital home if there is a court order granting you residency in the marital home. This can be a Decree of Separate Support and Maintenance, or a Divorce Decree. If you’re considering leaving the marital home or want your spouse to leave the marital home and need legal advice, please reach out to schedule a consultation with one of our lawyers. People age 50+ are usually focused on finalizing their financial security for retirement and divorce can greatly disrupt that security. Divorce has significant financial implications for younger couples, but can have devastating financial consequences for older couples. Be sure to discuss the financial implications of a property settlement or alimony agreement with your family law attorney, to ensure your future financial wellbeing.
What is Gray Divorce?
“Gray Divorce” is a phrase coined to describe couples getting divorced after the age of 50. More and more couples over the age of 50 are choosing divorce. Between 1990 and 2010, the baby boomer generation (those born between 1946 and 1964) saw their divorce rates double while other age groups’ divorce rates plateaued or even decreased. We have personally seen this statistic play out in our practice. In today’s blog post we discuss some of the reasons for the increase in gray divorce and what you need to consider financially as a divorcee going through a gray divorce. Why the increase in Gray Divorces?
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AuthorsLindsey Dasher and Catherine Smith are experienced family law attorneys at Dasher Law, PLLC. Archives
May 2024
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