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October is spooky season, and nothing is spookier to family law attorneys than invalid marriages. Betrothed couples in North Carolina should beware of officiants instantly ordained by the “Universal Life Church” and be sure to follow these steps to create a valid marriage in our state!
There are several steps to a valid marriage in North Carolina:
The Universal Life Church is an online program that allows someone to be instantly ordained as a “minister.” Their website states that the Universal Life Church was established in 1977 and the “church” has only two tenets: (1) do only that which is right, and (2) all should be free to worship as they see fit. Before the internet, the Universal Life Church provided “mail order” certificates giving the title of minister. The North Carolina Supreme Court ruled that a person who receives a certificate of ordination from the Universal Life Church is not “an ordained minister of any religious denomination,” (State v. Lynch, 301 N.C. 479 (1980)) as required by N.C.G.S. § 51-1. After this case was ruled upon by the North Carolina Supreme Court, the North Carolina Legislature enacted N.C.G.S. § 51-1.1, to protect the validity of marriages performed by Universal Life Church “ministers” prior to July 3, 1981. The people who entered into marriages with a Universal Life “minister” presiding prior to the State v. Lynch case could not have known that their marriage might be invalid, so the legislature sought to protect the innocent couples entering into those Universal Life Church-officiated marriages prior to the ruling. Marriages that occur after July 3, 1981 by Universal Life Church “ministers” are not protected by N.C.G.S. § 51-1.1. The State v. Lynch case law has been applied and affirmed in multiple later cases at the North Carolina Appellate Court level. Be sure whoever is officiating your wedding is qualified to do so under North Carolina law! Please schedule a consultation with our firm if you have questions or concerns about the validity of your marriage. An engagement ring can be a large financial investment for the purchaser and gift-giver. The traditional rule-of-thumb for purchasing an engagement ring is to spend up to three-months’ salary on the ring! Other times an engagement ring is a family heirloom, or a family diamond or precious stone that has been reset into a new ring especially for the recipient. But what happens to the engagement ring if the wedding doesn’t happen? Or what happens to the ring if you end up divorced? We provide the answers to these burning questions, below.
Who gets the engagement ring if the engagement is called off? In South Carolina, if an engaged couple calls off the wedding, the ring-giver will receive ownership of the ring after the engagement has ended. It does not matter which partner called off the engagement, as no “fault” is considered in the determination of engagement ring ownership. An engagement ring is considered a conditional gift given on the condition of marriage. If the marriage does not occur, then the condition has not been fulfilled and the ring should be returned to the original purchaser of the ring upon request. In North Carolina, an engagement ring is also considered a conditional gift. If the engagement falls through, no matter who is at fault for the break-up, the ring-giver is entitled to the ring. Again, this is because the marriage did not occur, and the engagement ring was given on the condition that marriage is fulfilled. Other states have various views on who receives the engagement ring if the wedding is called off. Some states’ laws say that if the recipient of the ring called off the wedding, they must return the ring to the ring-giver. If the ring-giver called off the wedding, then the recipient of the ring gets to keep the ring. Still other states say that the engagement ring was a simple gift, and the recipient of the gift gets to keep the ring even if the wedding does not occur. Who gets the engagement ring if you get divorced? In both North and South Carolina, if you get divorced, the engagement ring will generally remain the property of the recipient of the ring. This is because the condition of marriage has been fulfilled, and so the gift is no longer conditional. South Carolina courts have issued case law directly on this point. Additionally, an engagement ring is a gift that is typically given prior to a marriage and so the ring is considered “separate” property in a divorce. If the engagement ring was purchased or upgraded after marriage, using joint marital funds, then the ring would more than likely be considered “marital” property, and could be subject to equitable distribution (or equitable apportionment, if you’re in South Carolina) and the value would be considered in the overall distribution of your marital estate. If the ring is a family heirloom that you would like to have returned if you divorce, you would need to plan ahead for that circumstance. The best way to make sure that your family heirloom ring is returned from your spouse upon a divorce is to have a prenuptial agreement signed prior to your marriage. You could also enter into a postnuptial agreement after your marriage to ensure if you ever separated and subsequently divorced, you would receive your priceless family heirloom back from your spouse. Please reach out to our office to schedule a consultation about a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement to protect your precious family heirlooms, or if you have further questions about what might be considered marital or separate property. Once your divorce is final, you may think you are done with updating your legal documents, but think again! After your divorce is final, you need to update your estate planning documents to protect yourself and your children. Even though you are divorced, if you name your ex-spouse as a beneficiary in your will, that spouse will inherit from you if you do not update it. There are other important and necessary steps to take to update your estate plan, which are outlined below.
Revise your Will and create new Powers of Attorney, if desired. Identify your desired beneficiaries in your will regarding your asset distribution. Update or create your power of attorney to appoint a trusted friend or family member to make financial and healthcare decisions on your behalf, should you become incapacitated. If you named your spouse as your “agent” in a Durable or Healthcare Power of Attorney previously, that Power of Attorney naming your spouse as agent is automatically revoked upon divorce. You do want to have new powers of attorney put into place naming a different agent. Establish a trust for your minor children. In your will, create a testamentary trust that is established if you die before your children reach the age of majority. Appoint a trustee whom you trust completely to distribute funds to your children as minors. If you anticipate leaving a significant amount of assets to your children, you may want to establish trust terms that permit your children to receive their portions of the trust at an age older than eighteen to prevent your young children from squandering their inheritances. Name a guardian for your minor children. In your will, name a guardian for your minor children in the event that you and your children’s other parent die before the children reach the age of majority. You want to be sure that your wishes regarding your children’s guardian(s) are expressed clearly in a valid will, which will prevent any confusion or discord between your surviving family members about who should receive your children, should the worst happen. Update your beneficiary designations: Be sure to go through all of your life insurance policies, retirement accounts, investment accounts, POD and TOD bank accounts, etc. and update your beneficiaries. When you’re married, often your spouse is the sole beneficiary of these types of accounts. Once you are divorced, you want to be sure to name whomever you would like to receive these accounts upon your death. If you need to update your estate planning documents now that you are divorced, we can help. Click the button below to schedule a consultation, or give our office a call. If you know someone with alcohol addiction or alcohol use disorder, you know that it can wreak havoc on relationships, especially marriages. When a spouse is struggling to stay sober and relapsing regularly, it can cause the trust in your marriage relationship to deteriorate. In initial consultation meetings, we often meet a spouse who still deeply cares for their spouse with alcohol use disorder, but simply cannot continue to subject themselves or their children to the fall-out of having a spouse and parent in the household struggling with alcohol addiction. If you are in the same boat, there are options (and there is hope!) to negotiate a custody agreement outside of court rather than filing a contested child custody lawsuit.
Our team understands the priority of keeping your children safe with a parent with alcohol use disorder, while also recognizing and honoring that that the struggling parent is still a parent to your children. There is a way to craft a custody agreement that recognizes and bears both of those truths in mind. There are common-sense safeguards to include in a custody agreement to prevent the parent with alcohol use disorder from putting a minor child in harm’s way. There are basic restrictions to include in your custody agreement like not drinking within a few hours of receiving the child for parenting time or during parenting time and not driving the child after consuming alcohol. There are also remote alcohol monitoring devices like Soberlink or BacTrack that monitor a parent’s sobriety and aid that parent in continuing to stay sober in order to exercise parenting time. In custody agreements, we often recommend having the parent with alcohol use disorder agree to submit to alcohol monitoring as a prerequisite to exercising parenting time. If the parent fails an agreed upon alcohol breathalyzer remote monitoring test, that parent forfeits their parenting time. The parent with alcohol use disorder can agree to submit to breathalyzer tests only during parenting time or daily (even outside of their parenting time), if that is necessary. Sometimes a parent will agree to submit to alcohol monitoring in the short-term, for three or six-months, and then re-evaluate the custody agreement after he or she has had the opportunity to prove sobriety in the interim. The parent with alcohol use disorder must agree to submit to remote alcohol monitoring if you want to avoid court. There are many benefits of the parent agreeing to submit to remote alcohol monitoring. Most parents struggling to stay sober understand that they must be sober while they are with their children and exercising parenting time. Many parents want the opportunity to prove that they can maintain sobriety, parent their kids, and earn back their co-parent’s trust. They often would rather not go to court and have their personal issues preserved in publicly available court records, which they can avoid if they enter a custody agreement. If you or your children’s other parent has alcohol use disorder and you are thinking of separating, please reach out to our office so we can provide individualized legal advice that applies in your unique situation. |
AuthorLindsey Dasher is the Managing Partner at Dasher Law PLLC Archives
May 2024
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