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In a situation where you have been divorced for several years and raised kids with your ex-spouse, what happens when your child turns 18 and becomes an “adult?” For years, you followed your child custody and child support agreement or order, shuttling your child back and forth between houses, alternating holidays and missing your kid on Christmas morning each year, scheduling vacation time in your allocated summer parenting time, splitting uninsured medical/extracurricular expenses with your co-parent, and paying (or receiving) child support. Once your child turns 18 and graduates from high school, your court-ordered obligations and custodial relationship change forever!
Court-Ordered Child Support Court-ordered child support ends when a child turns 18 and graduates from high school, in most circumstances. Court-ordered child support can be continued until a child turns 20 years old, or finishes their high school education, whichever occurs first, if a child does not graduate at 18 years old. Court-ordered child support can also be continued beyond 18 years old if a child has special needs or a disability. If court-ordered child support is in place, a North Carolina court cannot and will not order a parent to financially support a child after the child turns 18 and graduates from high school. In South Carolina, however, a court can mandate that a parent pay for a child’s college education, in some circumstances (not all! Speak with your South Carolina attorney about this). Most parents are providing financially for their children after high school graduation, but your legal court-ordered obligation to pay the other parent child support ceases. Child Support Agreement Some parents agree to financial support obligations after a child graduates from high school, so if you came to an agreement with your spouse outside of a traditional court setting, refer back to your child support agreement to determine if you have support obligations post-high school graduation. For instance, some parents agree to be legally obligated to pay a portion of their children’s college expenses or even wedding expenses. Terminating Child Support If you are paying court-ordered child support, you need to file a motion to terminate your support obligation. At the scheduled hearing date, bring proof of the circumstances (for instance, a copy of your child’s high school diploma along with their birth certificate) to terminate child support. The judge will allow you to present the evidence and will terminate your child support with proof that your child has both turned 18 and graduated from high school. Court-Ordered Child Custody or Child Custody Agreements Child custody agreements and child custody orders cease when your child reaches 18 years old. Once your child is a legal adult, your child will be free to choose where they live, with whom they live, and how often they see you and their other parent. This is why it is so imperative to build a deep, lasting relationship with your child while they are young, so they want to spend time with you after the custody order ceases and they’re no longer required to spend time with you. So often in our profession, we see divorced parents using their kids as pawns throughout their childhood to get back at their ex-spouse, failing to show up consistently in their children’s lives, and failing to recognize how important it is to put in the work to have a good relationship with your child while they’re young. Be wise about your relationship-building with your child throughout their childhood and show up for your kid! If they know you love and support them, they will very likely keep a relationship with you throughout their adult years and rely upon you for that same love and support. Do you have questions about what happens in your specific situation when your child turns 18? Give us a call or click the button below to schedule a consultation. Is your co-parent often sending texts and emails that are accusatory and rude? Your initial response may be to respond in kind with an equally rude tone, which will increase the conflict between you and your child’s other parent. Is that really best for your child, though? You need to be able to effectively co-parent with your child’s other parent for years, even beyond your child turning eighteen and becoming an adult.
We recommend that you invest in your co-parenting relationship by taking the high road in communications, and responding using Bill Eddy’s “BIFF” Response method, which stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. Find an article detailing Bill Eddy’s “BIFF” method for communications with high-conflict people at the following link. Continue reading below for our own firm’s commentary on Bill Eddy’s BIFF Response method.
If you are dealing with a difficult co-parent after separation, please reach out to our office for assistance. Our goal is to assist our clients in moving through their separation and divorce while lessening the animosity and conflict between spouses and co-parents. |
AuthorsLindsey Dasher and Catherine Smith are experienced family law attorneys at Dasher Law, PLLC. Archives
May 2024
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