Divorce Differently |
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Divorce can be costly—both financially and emotionally. Attorneys typically bill by the hour for their legal advice and representation. When they work on your case, receive an email from you, meet with you in person, or speak to you on the phone, they bill you for their time. While your attorney should be mindful of your budget and do everything in their power to keep your total bill low, you must account for the attorney’s time, experience, and skillset. Please note: there are circumstances outside of your control that affect your legal bills. For instance, if your spouse fights you tooth and nail over every small detail, your attorney will have to bill you for their time responding to each small issue your spouse brings up. As you move through your separation and divorce case alongside your chosen attorney, consider heeding the tips below to keep your bills down.
1. Be reasonable. Have realistic expectations regarding the outcome of your divorce, especially regarding your financial settlement and child custody arrangement. In North and South Carolina, you are generally entitled to 50% of the total marital estate and it is unrealistic (and costly) to go into negotiations requesting a great majority of the overall marital estate. You may waste money asking your attorney to fight for more than your fair share only to end up dividing all assets and debts equally, according to state law. Listen to your attorney when he or she tells you what portion of the marital estate you are entitled to receive. While you and your spouse may agree to whatever distribution of the marital estate you want to, even an unequal one, your attorney will always advise you what state law entitles each spouse to receive. Additionally, understand that as long as there are no extenuating circumstances, a child’s time will be shared in some capacity between the parents. Even if you are upset with your spouse for their role in the demise of your marriage, they are still your child’s parent and are entitled to parenting time. Try to keep what is truly best for your child in the forefront of your mind during custody negotiations. 2. Do your homework. If your attorney asks for you to complete some “homework” like providing a list of financial statements and account information, provide the list electronically in its entirety. Do not send your attorney each document piecemeal. Use a naming convention for your statements like identifying the year, month, and day of each statement then the name of the account. If you want bonus points (and to save even more money), provide a coversheet to your attorney with a list of statements provided, the date of each statement, and the statement balance. Providing your documents in an organized fashion saves your attorney a ton of time and saves you money! Much of divorce is separating and distributing assets and debts, and any time savings you can provide your attorney will save you legal fees. 3. Be open to compromise and choose your battles. The more you fight your spouse, the more your divorce will cost. Litigation raises the cost of your divorce. You can choose an alternative divorce process like proceeding with traditional negotiations between attorneys, mediation, or collaborative divorce, you will save money on your legal fees. At our firm, we assist our clients in engaging in alternative dispute resolution processes outside of the courtroom. We believe that avoiding the courtroom is better for families and produces better results, but it also saves you money in the long-run. Know and set your goals for your divorce with your attorney at the outset of your case to help you focus on the final outcome and not on each small disagreement and detail. 4. Be wise about which attorney you hire. Attorneys have various hourly rates and billing practices. Read your attorney-client engagement agreement carefully so you understand your attorney’s hourly rate and billing practices. Hire an attorney you can afford, who is open to highlighting where you can compromise with your spouse to save money while still achieving your most important goals. 5. Streamline your communications. Be thorough and prompt in communications with your attorney. Fully answer each and every question from your attorney in one response email—don’t send several emails answering one question in each email. Your feedback is important to your attorney, and sometimes time sensitive. If your attorney does not hear from you, they will have to follow up with you. Each and every time they follow up with you, they will bill you for that attempt to contact you. To streamline your communications, know when to call your attorney vs. when to email. If you anticipate having several follow up questions, a call might be best. Reserve a time on your attorney’s calendar by reaching out to their paralegal or legal assistant. Don’t call your attorney’s office every time you have a small question. Instead, make a list of your questions and set up a time to call or meet with your attorney to talk through all of your questions in one fell swoop. 6. Don’t treat your attorney like a therapist. Divorce has three major facets: legal, financial, and emotional. Only use your attorney to analyze the legal and financial aspects of divorce, not the emotional aspect. Venting frequently to your attorney about what a horrible person your spouse is may be emotionally cathartic, but it is better to discuss those things with your therapist. If you don’t have an individual therapist, ask your attorney for referrals. Attorneys regularly work with therapists who specialize in walking people through the emotional side of divorce and can recommend excellent local practitioners. If you utilize these tips, barring unforeseen circumstances, you will save money in attorney fees. Reach out today to schedule a consultation if you need help moving forward with your separation and divorce. Divorce will likely be one of the most difficult periods of your life. It is an emotionally and financially draining process that can be exacerbated when you are dealing with an uncooperative spouse and you simply do not have the means to hire an attorney.
At the most basic level, presently just filing for divorce costs $225 in North Carolina and $150 in South Carolina. Additionally, attorneys charge an hourly rate that often exceeds $250 per hour. If you read my blog post about the cost of a divorce in North Carolina, you know that a divorce with other issues involved like child custody, equitable distribution, and child support can rack up legal fees into the thousands. Maybe you don’t have that kind of money. Maybe you were blindsided by the divorce and don’t have access to your assets right now. I have seen these situations repeatedly in practicing law for more than a decade, first with traditional litigation and now exclusively with collaborative divorce. It pains me to see families hurt. I would never casually encourage divorce or flippantly tell someone they don’t need an attorney. But I understand that sometimes, it is virtually impossible to gather several thousand dollars to fight your case. What do you do? If you are willing and able, there are some free and low-cost resources available that can help you get started and/or finish the process. Organizations Look for a non-profit law firm or organization in your area that offers low-cost or pro bono work for family law cases. Both North and South Carolina, where I practice, have organizations that provide free services if you meet their income requirements. Legal Aid of North Carolina and South Carolina Legal Services hold free do-it-yourself clinics so you can learn how to do a simple divorce or file for child custody. You may find an organization in your state that will charge you a small fee for helping you with certain paperwork. Connect with an attorney Call the North Carolina Bar Association referral service to get a lower-cost initial consultation with a licensed attorney to get you started. Find a Family Law Clinic at a local law school to guide you in the process. You may be able to meet with an attorney for guidance on a specific issue so that you can do it yourself. There are limited representation attorneys, who provide legal services a la carte. Some attorneys represent family law clients pro bono, although it’s very hard to find one to do so because family law cases can be very involved and time-consuming. File for Divorce Pro Se or Unrepresented You can file for divorce without a lawyer to represent you, but this should be a last resort. You do not want to potentially lose out on alimony or equitable distribution claims because you did not ask for them before you got divorced. Find the Divorce Forms for your state listed below. Check your local library for treatises and rule books on state family law, but make sure to confirm that they are not out of date. Resources Legal Aid of North Carolina Simple Divorce Clinic via Facebook Live or Zoom, or call Legal Aid of North Carolina’s HelpLine at 1-866-219-5262. South Carolina Legal Services Divorce Clinics’ dates and times are listed on its online calendar. Check the website to find one near you. North Carolina Divorce Packet on the North Carolina courts website. Self-Represented Litigant Simple Divorce Packet on the South Carolina courts website. The Mecklenburg County Courthouse Self-Service Center has resources where you can fill out the paperwork there and file. Call or go online to the North Carolina Bar Association referral service at 919-662-8574 to get an initial thirty-minute $50 consultation with an attorney just to get you started. NCCU School of Law has a family law clinic if you are in the Triangle area. If you’ve been considering divorce or are just starting the process, you might already be reeling at the prospect of paying a hefty price tag. A consultation could cost you a few hundred dollars. It’s well worth your money, but that’s only the beginning.
I hope you’ll consider what I’m about to share with you. If you’re thinking about going to court for your divorce, the financial implications could be devastating. The financial cost is one of the reasons I stopped litigating cases years ago and why I now advocate so strongly for a collaborative approach. It’s my exclusive practice now. So, How Much? A few years ago, legal marketing firm Martindale-Nolo asked consumers how much they paid for their divorces, and attorneys how much they charged. In North Carolina, the cost varied widely depending on several factors, including the number of contested issues and whether the case went to trial. The higher the conflict, the higher the price tag. For one contested issue and no trial, their research showed a minimum of about $5,000. The cases that went to trial averaged between $12,000-$15,000. I’ve seen some cases go into six figures. The bottom line is that typically the more cooperative the couple is, the smaller the bill. Can you see why I strongly support collaborative divorce? Working Together Collaborative divorce is a voluntary process wherein both spouses commit to resolving their divorce outside of the court. Couples sign a legally binding contract in which they commit to work together, and with their respective attorneys, to separate assets, work out any child custody or spousal support issues, and minimize the collateral damage of divorce on their family as a whole. Generally speaking, the collaborative process costs less than going to court. Here are some of the factors that can impact the total cost of your divorce: Where You Live You can’t help where you live, but where you live matters. Attorneys in Raleigh may not charge the same hourly rates as attorneys in Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. If you live in New York City, your bill might be a lot higher than if you live in Mississippi, for example. Contested Issues How many contested issues are there? If you have several issues to work through, such as child custody, alimony, property division, etc., it may add to your overall cost. However, if you and your spouse have no children and minimal assets to split, the total cost could be a lot less. Attorney Experience A seasoned attorney is worth his or her weight in gold, in my opinion. You cannot replace the working knowledge that an experienced attorney has of the law, the court system, and the process. That said, these attorneys charge accordingly for that expertise. An experienced attorney will likely charge a higher hourly rate for his or her services compared to an attorney who has been practicing for a year. You want to find the balance of attorney experience/hourly rate that works for you. Settlement or Trial? If you spend any amount of time on this site, you’ll know that I am a firm believer in settling divorces outside of court. I believe it is the best way to preserve your finances and your heart as much as possible. Settling cases will not only keep you out of court, but it will likely save money if the spouses and their attorneys can work together. But some couples simply can’t or won’t agree on their contested issues and they end up in court. The litigation process will cost you more money, time, and energy. Your attorney will have to file a lawsuit or respond to allegations, gather evidence, and prepare for trial. Unknown Costs There is a lot of work that goes into advocating for our clients. How many phone calls, e-mails, and/or meetings will it take to resolve your divorce? How many documents will your attorney be reviewing and drafting? How often will you be communicating with your attorney? Those costs are hard to predict, and they can add up, so it’s something to keep in mind. In the collaborative process, it’s possible to resolve all the issues more efficiently, which helps keep costs down. When I opened the doors to Dasher Law, I wanted to do divorce differently. In fact, I made that my mission statement and I work every day to keep couples focused on staying out of court and moving on to the next new chapter of their lives. If you’re ready to Divorce Differently, call us and set up a consultation. We’d love to help. How do I find the right attorney?
I’ve been practicing family law for more than a decade and from this side of the table, it’s an easier question to answer. But, from a potential client’s perspective, the answer can be more elusive. I’ve worked with dozens of attorneys over the years, first when litigating family court cases and now exclusively in collaborative law. From years of interacting closely with my colleagues day in and day out, I consider many of them to be great attorneys. But how does a potential client know who’s good – especially if they’ve never dealt with divorce or the courts before? What exactly is “good?” Good can mean competent. All practicing attorneys should be competent. We all went to law school (which is rigorous, to say the least) and we’ve all passed at least one Bar Exam. But competent doesn’t necessarily mean exceptional or outstanding. Maybe you think a good attorney is an aggressive one. Conversely, you can find a highly skilled and experienced attorney whose style and approach does not align with your values. The real question is: how can you tell if an attorney is good for you? Here are my best tips: Ask Around in Your Trusted Circles I practice collaborative divorce, which essentially means I help keep couples amicable and out of court, so I’ll stick with advice about divorce attorneys. Chances are, you know family or friends who are divorced. You can start by asking them about their attorneys. Ask how their divorce process went and look at the outcome of their situations. If it sounds favorable to you, you may want to take their recommendations. You may also find that your friend has a friend who’s divorced, and they were happy with their attorney. Ask around and then do a basic internet search on that attorney to get as much information as possible. Knowledge is power. Look for Specialties or Professional Associations You have some options when it comes to divorce. If you and your ex are on good terms and you’re willing to divorce amicably, you will want to find an attorney who practices collaborative divorce law. We are specifically trained in this process. Look for an attorney who is trained in collaborative divorce or who has a depth of experience in alternative dispute resolution. Your city or state will likely have a professional association where you can find attorneys and resources online. Our attorney is a member of the Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Professionals Group in North Carolina and the South Carolina Family Solutions Group in South Carolina. If you prefer to litigate your case, you might look for someone who is a seasoned litigator. Some attorneys are board-certified specialists in family law. If you need someone with specialized training, you can find it. Otherwise, there are likely plenty of experienced family law attorneys in your area. Check the Reviews Reviews can be extremely helpful but…not all reviews are created equal! Unfortunately, almost anyone can post anything online – even if they’ve never consulted with or employed the attorney they’re reviewing. But a solid track record of good, detailed reviews from former clients is a good sign. If possible, take the time to read the reviews to make sure that the way the attorney advises, practices, etc. is in line with your goals. I find Avvo.com to have more reliable ratings because of their stricter review guidelines. Reading reviews is a good start, but don’t let your research end there. Consult With Your Candidate(s) Nothing replaces meeting with an attorney face-to-face to get a feel for his or her demeanor, knowledge base, and approach to divorce. A consultation is a good way to see if you like the attorney. If you’ve whittled your list down to a good candidate, call his or her office and go in for a consultation. That meeting may be the confirmation you need to hire that attorney and move forward with your divorce. Remember That There Are No “Winners” in Divorce When I litigated cases, potential clients would sometimes ask how many cases I’d “won.” I can see why they wanted to know. Court is an adversarial process and if you’re fighting, you want to win. But after litigating cases and now actively staying out of court for years, I can tell you that no one ever wins in divorce. Divorce starts with a loss. Even if a judge rules in your favor on one particular point, you’ve likely lost a lot along the way to get to that ruling. Remember that “winning” means different things to different people. If you’re curious about your attorney’s track record, ask. If you already know the judge assigned to your case, ask the attorney how they’ve faired in front of that judge in the past. If you’re looking for a divorce attorney, I hope these tips will help you find the right one. If you want to divorce differently, I’m here to help. I’ve been practicing collaborative divorce law and have successfully kept couples out of the courtroom for many years. A peaceful divorce is possible. Call us to set up a consultation. We’d love to help. |
AuthorLindsey Dasher is the Managing Partner at Dasher Law PLLC Archives
May 2024
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