Part II: How Can You Have a Successful Mediation?

1. Have realistic expectations for settlement. If you have a lawyer, that lawyer should be helping you set your expectations for a realistic outcome of your divorce. For example, it is generally presumed to be equitable for each spouse to receive approximately 50% of the assets (and debts) acquired during the marriage. With kids, you should assume that the children’s other parent will be heavily involved and have significant parenting time, unless extenuating circumstances exist.
2. Keep your goals and priorities in mind as you come to an agreement. Prior to mediation, sit down and write out your top one or two goals for your divorce settlement and why they are so important to you. Is having equal parenting time the most important goal for you? Is equalizing retirement assets the most important? Having cash on hand? It is unlikely that you will get absolutely everything that you want in your divorce settlement. Allow your priorities to guide negotiations and be willing to budge if your spouse is asking for compromise on an issue that isn’t one of your top priorities. Your spouse will feel like they have “won” and you are not compromising your top goals.
   
3. Show up open-minded and ready to compromise. You are paying a lot of money for half of the mediator’s fees and your attorney’s fees during mediation. It is in your best interests to show up to mediation with the hope and expectation that you will settle your case that day. Mediation provides the flexibility to create unique and creative solutions that fit your family’s needs – solutions that may not be available if you proceed to court. Use the flexibility of mediation to craft a settlement agreement that is best for you and for your family.
   

​Reach out to our firm if you need mediation services (Lindsey is a certified mediator in North and South Carolina) or if you need representation during a mediation session. 

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